I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
