You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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