we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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