Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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