Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
