i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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