i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
