So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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