why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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