omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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