just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
