I love black thongs
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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