Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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