where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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