my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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