Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
