I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
