absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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