no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize