We're facebook friends in real life
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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