if you like me you must not know who I am
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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