LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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