it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
