You smell like stripper and shame
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
