I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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