she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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