i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
