So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
