he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
