he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
