so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
