ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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