So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
