we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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