erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
