for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
