Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The power of my boobs compel you
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
