somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
