she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
