We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
