You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize