That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize