Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
