he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize