Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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