I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
