you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
