Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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