If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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