fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
