i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize