He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
