He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
how does that bad decision feel?
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