Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
