if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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