I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
