Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
