i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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