Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
