i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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