You're my little dorito
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They took my balls.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
