it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
