google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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