TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
