Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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