Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
