you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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