the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
