I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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