She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
