I'm drive I can fine osifer
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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