I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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