I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
