Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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